Self, Listen Up


While I am now beginning my 50’s, I am also frequently remembering the past on how far I have come and I always think about what I wish I had known throughout my 20’s. I do this now since I know one day, my memories will be a blur. It would be better to let go of some worries I endured. Sometimes I felt like I would simply die if this or that did not happen but I realize I took so much of life seriously.

Dear Self:

Here are some important things I would share with my younger self:

  1. LOVE NEVER ENDS. All those you love dearly, the love will always be with you no matter what. Those that love you sincerely will always stay beside you and their love will comfort you throughout your life.
  2. YOU WILL SURVIVE. Even though the pain right now can be unimaginable, it will always get easier every single day and you will find your way through the grief and create a new normal in your life. It always works out.
  3. ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. People will show up to show you support and help you work through your grief, be grateful for them every day. Accept their help.
  4. FORGIVE & FORGET. Some people will not be there for you, know that it is not their journey to travel down this new road with you. Even though it will be difficult, forgive them and let it go. It won’t serve you right to hold on to the anger. Remember just a season or a reason.
  5. LIFE IS SHORT. Life is truly short. How do I know, I was JUST 25 years old. Enjoy each year, each journey and the road you travel. I can truly see how quickly time passes. So embrace life and live each day with your loved ones or discover new ones.
  6. SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE. The pain you are experiencing now will help others who are going through a loss. Be willing to help others by sharing your heart with them and be open to allowing others to share their stories. Our stories heal through sharing.
  7. EACH LOSS IS UNIQUE. This will be hurtful, but you will experience many more losses in your life. Each one will be unique in its own way, but the lessons you have learned today will help you work through the grief you will experience in the future.
  8. NEVER TRY TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. What you are now is what you will always be. Changing or reinventing you doesn’t help. You are perfect just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with exploring new looks and imitating someone else but always remember that you are a living breathing soul and that’s what matter.
  9. IT’S OKAY TO CRY. Let the tears come and allow all the feelings you are experiencing to flow. Holding back your emotions will only delay the healing process. The only way to heal is to go through the pain, not around it. Take one day to grieve and spend time with you. Take another day to celebrate life.
  10. YOU WILL CHANGE AND THAT IS OK! Losing someone you love will change who you are forever and also change how you see the world. Embrace every change that will come your way, it will open up who you are in ways you won’t imagine.
  11. LET JOY IN. Remember to have a sense of humour and let the joy in. It is OK to have a loud belly laugh and to sob uncontrollably. Remember those who no longer have these feelings whether emotionally or physically. We are the lucky ones. Embrace the fun times you had with your mom and be open to exploring life again even in heaven. Laughter will help breathe life back into your world.