While I am now beginning my 50’s, I am also frequently remembering the past on how far I have come and I always think about what I wish I had known throughout my 20’s. I do this now since I know one day, my memories will be a blur. It would be better to let go of some worries I endured. Sometimes I felt like I would simply die if this or that did not happen but I realize I took so much of life seriously.
Here are some important things I would share with my younger self:
- LOVE NEVER ENDS. All those you love dearly, the love will always be with you no matter what. Those that love you sincerely will always stay beside you and their love will comfort you throughout your life.
- YOU WILL SURVIVE. Even though the pain right now can be unimaginable, it will always get easier every single day and you will find your way through the grief and create a new normal in your life. It always works out.
- ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. People will show up to show you support and help you work through your grief, be grateful for them every day. Accept their help.
- FORGIVE & FORGET. Some people will not be there for you, know that it is not their journey to travel down this new road with you. Even though it will be difficult, forgive them and let it go. It won’t serve you right to hold on to the anger. Remember just a season or a reason.
- LIFE IS SHORT. Life is truly short. How do I know, I was JUST 25 years old. Enjoy each year, each journey and the road you travel. I can truly see how quickly time passes. So embrace life and live each day with your loved ones or discover new ones.
- SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE. The pain you are experiencing now will help others who are going through a loss. Be willing to help others by sharing your heart with them and be open to allowing others to share their stories. Our stories heal through sharing.
- EACH LOSS IS UNIQUE. This will be hurtful, but you will experience many more losses in your life. Each one will be unique in its own way, but the lessons you have learned today will help you work through the grief you will experience in the future.
- NEVER TRY TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. What you are now is what you will always be. Changing or reinventing you doesn’t help. You are perfect just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with exploring new looks and imitating someone else but always remember that you are a living breathing soul and that’s what matter.
- IT’S OKAY TO CRY. Let the tears come and allow all the feelings you are experiencing to flow. Holding back your emotions will only delay the healing process. The only way to heal is to go through the pain, not around it. Take one day to grieve and spend time with you. Take another day to celebrate life.
- YOU WILL CHANGE AND THAT IS OK! Losing someone you love will change who you are forever and also change how you see the world. Embrace every change that will come your way, it will open up who you are in ways you won’t imagine.
- LET JOY IN. Remember to have a sense of humour and let the joy in. It is OK to have a loud belly laugh and to sob uncontrollably. Remember those who no longer have these feelings whether emotionally or physically. We are the lucky ones. Embrace the fun times you had with your mom and be open to exploring life again even in heaven. Laughter will help breathe life back into your world.
It seems to be kind to one another is a very difficult task. There is too much unkindness in the world and yet when we have a disfigurement, disability, birth defect, aging etc. that we have no control of, we are still laughed at, teased, ignored, and bullied.
Every day when out and about, I hear the words, “Thank You For Your Service”. And I say You Are Welcome. I really want to say, Thanks but do something about it. Hire the one you would not typically choose because of how they look, sound, or appear kind of odd.
Do something out of the ordinary. Buy a cup of coffee or tea, take someone to lunch, buy their lunch, sit next to someone and hear their story. I say DO SOMETHING!. Anything. Please. Our lives depend on it.
Just Disabled, NOT Dead Anita Miranda
A “Sexy” woman is a woman who likes herself as she is. Yea right. We have all heard this before. What does it really mean? So I love myself, I think I am groovy, and unless I plan on doing everything by myself there are still other factors of what society finds “Sexy”. So we are told as little girls “You don’t need the praise of others, as long as you feel good about yourself”. How is that working for you? I find myself dating again at 50. Sure is different. At one time my profile stated, Athletic, ambitious, energetic, financially secure, Foodie, drug and disease free, world traveler, personal and professional growth a priority. Nowadays, it reads more like, loves cuddling at home, home cooked meals, Netflix, walks in the garden, relaxing wade pools, sense of humor, retired preferred, children grown and gone. What a difference 10 years makes.
So, now I have to find the new improved older me. My body is not as tight except around my tummy where I once carried my babies. Today, “No, I am NOT pregnant” is used more often. I cut my hair because my muscles ache and cannot lift my arms to roll brush my hair or even put hair in a ponytail. I bought Ponds cream for the first time. Why, because my grandmother did. Where my long toned legs would put on high heels everyday and would give me that extra lift for my tush and calves. I now am being fitted for my orthopedics. My expensive wardrobe that fitted my toned body and gave me a polished look has been replaced to sundresses and mom jeans. Where my dream for the big 50 was a sport car paid in cash, I received complimentary from the VA my Nova walker. Yes, 50 is not being too kind to me.
So what can a seasoned mature grandmother and retired woman do nowadays to stay in the game of dating and love? How about gestures. That is not too hard on the body. Discover the sensuality of gestures, the way you smile and the smiles of people around you. I can do that. How about the attitude? If you can convince yourself you are HOT, then by all means being sexy is an attitude and it starts by trusting yourself. Outside, it means a feminine allure, friendly, a woman who knows how to flirt, and to keep a slightly mysterious air. In addition, the means to feel comfortable in the clothes you wear and feel beautiful. Even if the media sometimes promotes a vamp style, I promise you that there are other ways in which you can be noticed. My vamp went bye bye with my high heels. The art of being sexy is to have a neat appearance without seeming like you’ve spent hours in front of the mirror, cosmetics or in stores. This statement should really say, more is more when you have more to cover up.
My cute freckles seem to have changed to age spots. Not so cute. Take my word for it there is nothing more ridiculous than a woman in high heels at the beach. Or my elephant legs shoved into “Stuart Weitzman” rage of the month. A style personality check is the essence of what will make you feel at ease and little tricks of makeup or colored underwear will help you change your attitude. Sure it will. My lips look like my Aunt Fanny back in the day, dry and hot red. As for colored underwear, what the heck does that mean. Gone are the days of matching Bra and Panty set from Victoria’s Secret. Playtex and me have a new friendship. White, black, or beige are my only choices. No color there. Try sexy lingerie, corset, stockings and a garter will make you feel powerful and seductive – wait a minute. What about the proverbial thong?. Do my Spanx, compression stockings and my waistband to keep my new hernia in tack go on top or beneath my new sexy wear? I definitely need a different kind of attitude that attracts men. Try a variety of red lipsticks that works for your skin tone. In case you did not know, a red lipstick was created to suggest lip shade after an intense kiss. And finally, the fragrance is essential – a statement of seduction that you want to print, invisible, in memory of your partner. I guess my ointments must not be included in the fragrance list. All these tools of seduction is taking place and help to proceed in the right direction – even before you dress! Next segment, is dating like you are naked.
Every woman is beautiful and gentlemen please do remind your lovers every day, as they are special and unique. Gentlemen, you could do more, often give up on nonsensical criticisms and focus on quality. As for the ladies that love the ladies, give us a break. We need to be kind to one another. The profiles that say I am 50 but look and act 30, seeking someone who is thin, petite, NO BBW’s, feminine and beautiful and smart yet loves to hike, bike, motor cross…Really? Are you serious? Ladies, do nothing and allow your confidence in your sensual qualities, physical and spiritual self-use it’s GPS to find you that one. Sure, unless I am ordering a mail order bride or groom, even then the bias is pretty clear. So the chubbies don’t want the chubbies, the shorties don’t want the shorties, the disabled don’t want the disabled. It is exhausting. Face it. We are getting older, we are sagging, we are balding, we are not as swift, we take medication of some sort, our children are grown, our children are too busy, our nosy neighbors are now our companions and happy hours at the clubhouse is the highlight of the month.
Trust yourself, do not give up! Buy your favorite perfume, wear your favorite dress, walk with friends, remember that each of you lies a beautiful woman, strong and sexy (sexy as in sensual) because if you don’t find “the One” there are other venues to take care of our basic needs. Ask me. The most important rule to follow at any age, women are beautiful. Not just to our mothers. Now get over yourself and love the woman you are with and the woman that you are.
Anita Miranda, Retired Navy, Single Again, Disabled Still, and 50
A Family In Need
A man happens to place an ad on Craigslist, unbeknownst to him and his family, seeking any type of work that new opportunities would befall him. He had been down on his luck for over seven years and it appeared that he was not going to get a break. He is an artist by trade yet any type of work would be welcomed. He has been reunited with his former spouse and their two children. Alas, no one could find employment.
Circle of Helping Hands staff was searching for an artist. Not just any artist but someone who painted murals and had an eye for a vision. Before the end of the night, COHH was able to offer this family man a paying gig for a small job. No job is too small and one never knows what doors are being opened. This is Circle of Helping Hands.
Where Should I Go?
A young women, in her early thirties, was referred to COHH sometime in 2006. She had been going to college for over 10 years and still had not selected a major. She had worked with several organizations as an employee yet could not hold a job. She still lived in her parent’s home and did not have any idea of where and what she wanted to do with her life. She had just lost her security guard position and was told she was “not measuring up.” She did not know who or where to turn.
COHH helped this young women find a counselor, diagnosed with a disability, applied for social benefits, received financial aid to complete her AA. She is now living on her own, purchased her dream vehicle, currently employed and has choices for her life. She volunteers for COHH and other non-profits. She is recognized as a leader and continues to strive for balance in her life. This is Circle of Helping Hands.
I Thought I Was Retired
COHH’s staff was on duty this particular hot Arizona day. The task was to go to a DES job opportunity site and offer services to those who could use some additional help. After meeting many unemployed men and women, one of the job counselors asked if we do seminars. We were honored and quickly said yes. We sent a director and associate to assist with makeovers and interview skills. We had a good audience and two hours to make a difference. Upon concluding, COHH ran a drawing of a free makeover, photo shoot, resume revision, and live interview 101. One lady in particular whispered quite loudly she hoped she won. Her name was drawn within seconds.
Do you believe in miracles? This mature lady (in her 60’s) was so excited. She booked her session within a couple of days. She had to ride the bus, carry her interview clothes, had not eaten anything all day and was beaming from ear to ear when she arrived. After several hours, a hot meal, hot rollers, great skin, and a new wardrobe, she was ready. She was timid at first. Within minutes she warmed up and loved the camera. Her photo shoot was an incredible experience for her and our staff. Within two weeks, she had her resume in hand, her interview techniques down pat, and looked like a million bucks. We are pleased to share that she has found employment. Sometimes we never know what to expect in life. For this 60+ amazing lady…she thought “I was retired,” just needed a helping hand. This is Circle of Helping Hands.
A Personal Letter “Just”
Hello there. My name is Miranda. “Just” Miranda. “Just” like it was in the “Navy Days.” I gather it was “just” easier to read someone’s name tag on our dungerees than to try to remember all the sailors around us. I want to share with you, my brother, my sister, my mother, and father who was and is willing to lay down their life for our freedom under our Commander in Chief my inspiration of creating this particular charity. I am not saying anything political. “Just” that as we know it, (you know who I am talking about) we don’t ask questions, we don’t hesitate, we are ready, willing, and able to act upon a moments notice to defend our country and her principles to share your thoughts and opinions freely.
I joined the Navy when I was “just” eighteen years old. I lived in a small country town where we had one country store and one road that led to nowhere and everywhere. A little highway known as Highway 66. As you can imagine, not much opportunity for a young girl who did not finish high school (note: earned a GED at sixteen and a master’s degree at forty) and had big dreams of being someone.
I was recruited while attending a University and six weeks later, I was in boot camp. If anyone tells you that boot camp was a breeze, they are lying. I don’t know what was worse, not sleeping or anticipating the door to open anytime with our company commanders barging in yelling how worthless and a disgrace we were. I will never forget the tears, the sweat, the heaving, the puking and the exhilaration of becoming one unit.
Graduation and our orders came next. I was a little sad that I did not have any family or friends to congratulate me. See, I lived most of my childhood in foster and group homes. My mother was too ill to take care of me. and that was okay…so I thought. I thought I could go through life not needing anyone, or leaning on anyone, or depending on anyone. I was mistaken. Because of my induction to the United States Navy, I had a family. I had friends. and I learned that it was okay to ask for help…Thus my vision and mission was to one day give back to those who gave of themselves so readily. Behold, Circle of Helping Hands, a non-profit, non-descrimatory charity to help those who want to help themselves…who “just” need a “Helping Hand.” I dedicate this effort to my late mother, Nora Miranda who in her own right was an amazing woman, leader, and inspired me to be the best I could be and be anything. I realize that I may have come from nowhere yet today I am going somewhere.
God Bless America and to all my family,
Do YOU Need a Style Makeover for Your Online First Impression?
Are you NOT getting the love you deserve? What is the camera saying about you? Are you TIRED of being the solo act? Trending at 40+?
Scottsdale, AZ July 22, 2014 – Online dating has become more main stream than ever, with women making up 47.6% of the population looking for love on the Internet. Websites such as eHarmony.com, Match.com, POF.com and OkCupid.com are popular destinations for matchmaking, but many women may find themselves not receiving the attention they desire. Anita Miranda is pleased to announce her new service Miranda’s KISS, (Keeping Image Sharp & Simple). Miranda’s KISS will help any individual present their best self to online suitors.
Growing up as a ward of the court, Miranda was terrified of being photographed. Instead of letting the fear control and define her, she faced her fear head-on. This move became Miranda’s KISS. Miranda took her studies one step beyond. She learned the ins and outs of videography; simultaneously studying photography. She learned how celebrities are taught to present themselves to the camera, as well as utilizing camera angles, natural and studio lighting, hair and makeup artistry, camera-ready wardrobe selection and studio or on location staging. Through her journey of self-doubt, not thinking she was “thin” enough, and other excuses women and men commonly tell themselves, Miranda developed her own confidence and turned her talents to helping others with a four hour “Transformation” camera-ready session.
You will learn how to use your best assets in a way that gains attention and the poise of the self-assured. Upon completion of a session, women and men will walk away with self-confidence, chic appearance, and professional photos. The package is also suitable for anyone wanting to “transform” his or her business image. For a limited time, the transformation package comes with a bonus gift of a complimentary 250-word biography (business) or profile (personal) to help individuals get noticed.
Miranda’s KISS was developed to help its participants bravely conquer their fears of the camera, no matter their age, size or shape. Online dating is an exciting world just waiting to be explored, and Miranda wants to give men and women the courage to do so. With a little help from a friend of course.
When my best friend Kevin and I shopped for my first car, we talked to many dealers and looked at more than 15 cars. However, none of them seemed to fit my detailed checklist of my first perfect car. I felt so frustrated and decided to call my mom. My mom said “Don’t care about your list, just get in the car, you’ll just know it.” One day later, as I got in a Nissan Versa, I realized my mother was right. The car was not very big, not even brand new, but somehow, I knew it was mine.
The intuition is a “magical” thing, sometimes it is called “sixth sense,” so what exactly is it? When the brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a decision – but it happens so fast that the reaction is at an unconscious level is one way of looking at it. Another could be in “Angels”. Either way, it is that feeling in your gut when you at that precise moment either adhere or ignore. What makes you ignore? What makes you trust your “instinct”.
I do believe women have very powerful intuitions, even more so then men. Of course we could go into a “Freudian” says or “Webster” defines who and what. I want to talk about the “women’s intuition” and why we as women feel more than think more. These are all my theories. However as women we view intuition as something that’s warm and fuzzy, or not masculine, so men have often lost touch with those feelings or don’t express them. Back in the day when the norm was Women feel and Men think may still be existing but with Women’s Rights, and Free Speech, my how the world has turned. My mother praised me for being very sensitive, sensitive to other people’s feelings and sensitive for the tiniest things. While, my brother was more linear in his thinking rather than listening to his feelings. And mother praised him as well. Same family, same DNA, same home, yet different sexes. Does it start at the very beginning of birth, does it start when a toddler is able to retain memory and recall or is it simply “feelings?”
How should we tune in our intuition and logical thinking? First, pay attention to your physical responses. Maybe you’re trying to decide if you should take a new job that pays twice the salary as your current one, your head says, “Of course, you should take it, that’s a lot of money!” But you notice you feel a little sick to your stomach or exhausted. That’s an intuitive cue that you should step back and really examine the offer. You also need to make sure you aren’t mistaking strong emotions for intuition. Fear, desire, and panic can all get in the way of intuition. It’s important to really focus on that inner voice. And find the Why, your intuition is speaking to you.
Those children who are wards of the court or who have lived on their own for a very long time may not have the fundamentals of “trust” and rightly so. Practice deep breathing, writing your thoughts, and yes weighing the consequences. What would happen if I stayed in my current job? What would happen if I left my current job?
Ladies, trust yourself, your guardian angels and your truth. Practice with the little things and when it really matters, you will feel confident and decisive.
Anita Miranda (Founder) and Xi Zhou (Intern)
Xi Zhou is an Intern with Media PRO Productions. Anita Miranda and Xi help women and men become prepared for transformation through a camera lens. With the assistance of community, funding is possibly through COHH. Anita Miranda recently developed Red Carpet Academy for those who are preparing to be in front of, or want to be behind the camera, shooting their own videos in the convenience of their own home.’88 Video Tips for the Entrepreneur from Industry Experts’ will be released soon. Please visit Click Here for more information or learn more. Anita Miranda is available for speaking engagements and youth groups.
Visit us every Monday for new insights and where to share your story. Seeking guests bloggers. Our Blog posts at the bottom of the site to the left, “Look Who Is Talking” for complete stories.
Building a Better You through Transformation and Reinvention.
As a woman who is fast approaching the big 5-0, I find myself admiring other women who have handled this pivotal stage with admirable results. One of my heroes is a woman who has “aced the test of time”, the venerable Betty White.
With a vivacious personality, fiery attitude, and nerves of steel, Betty White has proven that you can still stand out, even when you have to compete with the past and current Impressions of yourself, as well as everyone else. As an icon for more than 50 years, she has shown us how to live as a paragon of Transformation through Reinvention.
When talking about Transformation and Reinvention, many people think they are interchangeable. Both words seem to be closely related, but there are distinct differences between them.
When you think about the words themselves, Transformation gives off the Impression that it was born in the realm of magic, while Reinvention seems more scientific.
Per our good, old friend, Daniel Webster, a Transformation is defined as a complete or major change in someone’s or something’s appearance, form, etc. In comparison, reinvention is defined as making major changes or improvements to something by looking at it in a different or new way, other than its original use.
To illustrate this point, think of it like this: a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, but a worker ant reinvents itself into a soldier ant when the queen is threatened.
So how does this difference affect you?
Well, when you Transform Your Impression, you change people’s perception of you by displaying positive body language, speaking with confidence, and tailoring your outward appearance accordingly. Reinvention, on the other hand, is changing how you think about yourself and how you want to be viewed by others.
Reinvention is always the first step. It gives you the opportunity to be utilized in a different way. You can change your look. However, if you want to change your purpose in the eyes of others, then you also have to reinvent yourself.
If reinvention is the planning stage, then transformation is the final result. It is changing how you think about yourself and taking the necessary steps needed to bring about change. Once your transformation is complete, you can move on and become the star of your own show. Everyone else now has the chance to see “the ‘reel’ you” in high definition.
A plan of Reinvention and a showcase of your Transformation give you a platform upon which to rebrand yourself and display the skills, knowledge and experience, that previously, went unnoticed.
As I traveled on my personal journey, I had to Transform myself through Reinvention several times. My path was not an easy one to follow. I lost my mom at a young age. I had to live in multiple foster homes. As soon as I turned 18, I joined the Navy. There were times where I struggled to keep food on the table as a divorced, single mom. It took a long time for me to get to the point where I could enjoy my current life and have a thriving career as a businesswoman. Now I have the chance to tell my story. My goal is to help other women empower themselves and transform their own lives.
If you would also like to help other women Transform their Impressions, I would be honored to speak to them and share my story of hope and transformation, in further detail. For more information or to schedule an appearance, you can fill out the contact form on the welcome page of my website, www.anitamiranda.com.
Living is a joy and a delight when you discover a way to guide yourself and find the path to your Ultimate Self.
Peace, Love and Besos!
It seems to be kind to one another is a very difficult task. There is too much unkindness in the world and yet when we have a disfigurement, disability, birth defect, aging etc. that we have no control of, we are still laughed at, teased, ignored, and bullied. Every day when out and about, I […]
A “Sexy” woman is a woman who likes herself as she is. Yea right. We have all heard this before. What does it really mean? So I love myself, I think I am groovy, and unless I plan on doing everything by myself there are still other factors of what society finds “Sexy”. So we are […]
A Family In Need Holds a true friend with both hands. A man happens to place an ad on Craigslist, unbeknownst to him and his family, seeking any type of work that new opportunities would befall him. He had been down on his luck for over seven years and it appeared that he was not […]